Discipline was not easy for both of us. Do you spank, speak firmly, take away privileges? These are hard decisions. Striking a balance to let them know that we did not accept what they did, and yet, at the same time to let them know that we loved them and forgave them. It was not always easy because we wanted them to know that what they did was serious, and often there were consequences. We wanted them to know that we will always love them. We all fall short and often fail, but God still loves and forgives us, and we need to be Christ-like to them. Proverbs 23:13-14 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with a rod and save his soul from death.” So, we think it’s OK to spank, but not in anger.
Another tough part might have been to always be there, to support them in their many activities. It can get to be a good balancing act. Sometimes the demands of ministry conflicted with their activities, and choices had to be made. It was not always easy, and I, Noel, probably didn’t always make the right choices.
“What are some choices you made about how to raise your kids?”
First and foremost, Ruby and I had to be in agreement on how to raise our children. We wanted to be in obedience to God’s Word when He said in Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up your child in the way he/she should go, and when they are older, they will not turn from it.” We wanted to be sure that our children would be brought up to love the Lord and commit their lives personally to Him.
We also knew the importance of having family time together. Much was left to Ruby; she is the creative one. Camping was probably the best family activity because it got us away from home, and we learned how to do things together as a family. From the time the boys were very young, we went camping and continued to do so even after they were married. Camping just brought us closer together and gave us great memories we still hold in our hearts. We wanted our children to learn how to live and enjoy life together.
We had to agree on how to discipline them when needed and the importance of communicating with them when they did something wrong. They needed to understand why that behavior was not acceptable. We agreed that discipline should never be done out of anger. If we are really upset, we need to cool down before any discipline was given. We also agreed that we needed to talk to them about what they did, why it was wrong, and why discipline was necessary.