Noel
As I think back to my childhood and teenage years, I don’t recall any specific advice my parents gave me except the normal driver safely, be safe, or be careful. I think my parents chose to “model” how they wanted us to grow up and live. I just read this past week from a book that Robert Morris wrote where he said, “It’s not what you say that they absorb, it’s what you do!” What they did well was to model what it was to be a follower of Jesus Christ. A few things stand out that helped me know that these were important if you were going to follow Jesus Christ. Spend time in the word. Pray. Pray together (which is something that Ruby and I do and believe is essential for any marriage. Prayer before meals, prayer after meals, devotions before you go to bed.
But other things stood out in both of them, where words were not necessary, but their actions were. Mom was busy with us as a family, cooked great meals, did a lot of baking, would give baked goods away just to bless others. She always had time for others, always willing to lend a helping hand. Very much involved in ministry with Dad. Played the organ, directed some choirs, was involved in women’s ministry, taught piano lessons, was good with her hands in sewing, knitting, crocheting, even did some painting. She taught me what it was to have a servant’s heart. She didn’t have to talk to me about it; she just showed me.
My dad did the same. Even though he was busy with ministry, and then having the title of District President, which meant he also had to travel at times, there was time for us. He too had a servant’s heart. Always had time for others. Always willing to give a hand when it was needed. Since he grew up on the farm, he loved to help those who needed that kind of help. Even in Ruskin, he would come down to the farm where I worked, as well as my brother, and would help unload wagons of hay, or bales of hay, even helped me to milk some cows when I had to do it alone while the people I worked for were on vacation. Plus, he had his own cow(s) to milk and other animals to feed and have a large garden. He just showed us by example how to do things, and then we would work alongside him.
When I had to write a critique for the Seminary, I told the Seminary that my father was my greatest teacher and role model for ministry. They just lived the life they wanted us to live.
All of us got along well with our parents. We were close, did family activities together. My parents attended all my High School sports events, drove me to the games, etc.
Don’t recall any arguments with them. They both had a gentile spirit and hearts full of love. I was blessed.
Ruby
I (Ruby) don’t remember conflict with my parents concerning the advice they would give me. I feel I understood all the reasons for the decisions they recommended for my life. They modeled their Christian life in what they did and said. I guess we tried to follow in their ways.
I remember one piece of advice they gave me as a teenager concerning dating and marriage. They strongly advised I only marry a like-minded believer in Christ. When I got to college, I saw the value of their counsel. They had prayed for our mates and approved God’s choice for me….Noel.
They both were hard workers and expected the same of us in helping with the farm chores…both outside with the cattle and inside with meal preparation and cleaning. They totally were against taking God’s name in vain. We followed that advice because they found other words when they may have been upset. They were faithful in their faith and very active in the activities in our church. They modeled their love for us with words and actions.
My dad always gave me compliments that made me feel confident in what I did. Maybe I was daddy’s little girl!! They recognized my love for music and let me take piano lessons for fifty cents a lesson. I have used my gift for all my life in school, church, college, and whenever someone needed an accompanist. Also for teaching other children to play the piano. They were proud of me and always gave their approval. Mother gave her all to me in supporting me in my activities and friendships. She had many medical issues which caused her much pain. I never remember her without pain, but she kept up the pace of being a great farm wife and mother. She always had a big smile, regardless of how she felt. I was always excited to have a new homemade dress made out of patterned feed sacks. I don’t know how mom had time to sew us new clothes with her busy life. When I got older, I too sewed most of my clothes to save money. I even made Noel a Leisure Suit and the three boys matching jackets and shirts.. they laugh at those pictures now.
My parents were not wealthy and watched their spending, but we consistently had freshly grown food on the table….veggies from the garden and meat from the farm. Mom canned a lot of vegetables from our garden; therefore, I followed that pattern also. She was my role model. Maybe that’s why I love a good bargain, garage sale, or Good Will.
Mom and dad were very hospitable and always had time for others, opening their home to friends. I remember enjoying a Sunday afternoon with friends in our home. She always had homemade goodies to share. Maybe that’s why I also like to be hospitable to family and friends. She was my role model.
God blessed me with wonderful parents and gave me a good pattern in being a wife and parent. They modeled love outwardly for each other and teased each other often. Dad was always a big tease to mom….therefore, I, too, like to tease Noel to keep our marriage fun and loving.
I guess rather than advice, they were role models for me all my life.